he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
