I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I look better un-naked...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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