so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize