The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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