The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
