If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
