So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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