She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
