if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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