is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
