it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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