i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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