Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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