I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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