Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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