I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
