the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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