guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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