He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
