The maid of honor just puked.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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