dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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