Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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