All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
bring money and cleavage
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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