May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
