Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
people are starting to question the shark bite story
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Randomize
