God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize