Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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