3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
