Christians are straight up FREAKS
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize