im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
