Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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