i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
