I cut my penus on the lid.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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