that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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