I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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