there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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