Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
