yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize