he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
