wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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