Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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