My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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