I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
