I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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