I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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