If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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