I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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