They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
