The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
