Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
