wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
