Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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