Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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