Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
no, he came in my armpit
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
