i dont even know how to be here
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
