As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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