i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
