I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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