the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
