So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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