Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I could fuck to npr.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
