Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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