oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
