Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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