would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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