windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize